When Dreams and Realities Embrace
by mysterious intentions
Summary: When all memories of the Spirit World and more importantly, Haku, vanish from Chihiro's mind, Haku struggles to let go of the one person who made him feel alive.


**When Dreams and Realities Embrace**

**Happy Birthday The Puffy One! Be Puffy forever. **

**...  
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"Dear, I fear we're facing a problem. You love me no longer, I know."

~Lovefool: The Cardigans

**...**

_Puffy white clouds lazily drifted through the bold blue sky, occasionally shielding the blazing sun and providing fleeting shade. _

_Mmmm…the clouds appeared to be so close today…as if she was able to extend her arm and sift the white wisps through her fingers. A wistful smile curving on her lips, she raised out her palm towards the deep cerulean sky. As expected, her fingers could not even graze the tips of the hovering mass. But she let her hand remain upright, pretending to caress the intangible cloud. _

_A gentle breeze casually weaved through the gaps in her fingers and tickled against her face. She watched as the bright green grass rolled backwards from the wind, wafting the fresh smell of spring into the sunny atmosphere. _

_She felt like she had never once stepped foot into this place, yet the air embraced her with an eerie sense of familiarity. _

_A sudden grunt to her left shifted her attention from the clouds to the sound. Coiled into a neat circle, a snow-white dragon stared intently at her. She didn't understand why…but for some reason there was absolutely no fear of the beast, only a magnetic curiosity. As she inched closer towards the dragon, his steely gaze remained unwavering. _

"_Chihiro…" _

_Her eyes widened at her name and she halted moving. "H-How'd you know my name?" _

_The dragon locked his piercing jade eyes with her soft chocolate brown ones. _

"_Chihiro, do you…remember me?" He asked almost tentatively, in a quiet strained voice. _

_She shook her head, her ponytail shaking from side to side. "No, I don't. I'm sorry." _

"_I see." The dragon lowered his head and closed his eyes. When he opened them, he cast Chihiro one last look before dissolving into silver particles and swirling away like snow flurries in the wind. _

"Chihiro, honey! Wake up breakfast is ready!"

Chihiro's eyes snapped open. Sunlight streamed through her windowpane, bathing her tiny room in golden light.

Another dream? It had felt so strikingly real. Most of her dreams melded into a hazy blur; but she could still remember the dragon's intense eyes, pools of chartreuse revealing sadness, yearning, and a glint of hope.

As she swung her legs to the side of the bed, her right arm patted around her night desk for her purple hair band. She could not recall how she found it, but the high quality material and nostalgic warmth it elicited made Chihiro treasure it dearly.

"Come on Chihiro, your eggs will get cold!" Her mom's irritated voice rang throughout the house.

"Sorry mom! I'll be there in a minute." She quickly stripped off her nightgown and threw on a pair of shorts and a simple t-shirt, with a single thick horizontal blue line patterned across it.

In the midst of yanking on her left sock, she hopped out of her room as fast as she could without stumbling over the clothes strewn on the floor.

So busy and in such a hurry everyday, Chihiro continually failed to notice the occasional crack of thin twigs and quiet sighs that fluttered from the great oak tree outside her window.

**...**

He leaned back into the solid tree trunk, his shoes scraping against the rough texture of the branch as he slumped down.

He was fully aware that he shouldn't be here. A lost spirit like him…had no place in the human world, much less holding a ridiculous attachment to a little human girl. Pulling up his legs closer to his chest, he propped an elbow on his kneecap and watched as the flustered girl below raced past him, often tripping over untied shoelaces. With a sullen sigh, he shut his eyes and unconsciously thought back to a past memory.

"_Kohaku."_

"_Hm?" _

"_Kohaku." He repeated the name, his voice booming with confidence. _

_Yubaba twirled a pen around her gnarled fingers, eyeing the boy carefully. "What about it?" _

"_Kohaku. That's my name, I remembered it. You no longer can control me." The boy took a step closer, his olive green eyes firmly fixed on the witch. _

_The witch fell silent for a moment and halted in revolving her pen. She blinked at Haku, truly Kohaku, and then suddenly burst into roaring laughter. _

"_So? You think now that you know your name you are free from serving me? Foolish boy!" _

_Haku furrowed his eyebrows, his frown deepening into a scowl. "No, I don't think, I know I am free from serving you. You're only a weakling who has to control people by stealing their name. Even the curse you put on me is broken as well." _

_Yubaba rolled her giant eyes and pointed a wrinkly finger at Haku. "Weakling huh? Who's the spirit who came seeking help when he was cast out of the real world? Watch your mouth boy. And besides, you think I'm going to let someone like you off the hook so easily?"_

"_What do you mean? I've done nothing but loyally execute your orders. I would have died from stealing Zeniba's gold seal if Chihiro hadn't intervened!" Haku exclaimed angrily, his tiny form trembling slightly. _

"_And that's exactly why." Yubaba smirked at the fuming boy. "Still thinking of Chihiro hm? Chihiro is a simple human girl, not terribly valuable. Sure she was special, but compared to spirits she's mere trash. You, on the other hand, are a powerful river spirit. You can't honestly believe you'll receive the same easy treatment now do you?" _

_Haku's fist was clenched so tightly his knuckles had whitened several shades. "Don't you dare talk about Chihiro that way!" _

"_Tell you what, I'll cut you a deal. I'll let you go and you can do whatever you please, but in return, Chihiro's memories of you and this world," The witch paused and dramatically inhaled through her crooked nose. "Will be completely erased." _

_Haku's head shot up like electricity had just surged through him. "No! Leave Chihiro out of this!" _

_Yubaba scoffed, adjusting the white hairs that had fallen out of her tidy bun. "Why would a human girl need memories of a spirit world anyways? They are two worlds that don't need to be mixed. Do you really think she'll even naturally keep you in her heart? Really Haku. Such childish dreams. I thought you knew better being under my apprenticeship and all." _

_Haku's face darkened, the scowl seemingly engrained onto his lips. "Can't there be any other option?" _

_Yubaba shrugged her shoulders. "Think of it this way, I'm helping you in the long-run by squashing your ridiculous ideas here and now." _

_Haku remained silent, his mind racking through the possible options and consequences. _

"_Hurry up boy I don't have all day. I have a spa to run!" Yubaba snapped impatiently. _

_He looked over the witch; she was dressed in her everyday deep blue dress, buttoned up to right under her cleft chin. Her head was disturbingly large in proportion to her body, an enormous peach-pink wart sitting in between her eyes. The amount of years Haku had been slave to this woman could build a sturdy house if each brick was a year. Would the trade-off…really be that bad? _

_He was thousands of years old, and sure meeting Chihiro made his heart pump faster than anything else in his life, but could it never be nothing more than a dream? She had been at the tender age of 10 when they met, can one truly love another at such an innocent age? Does HE really love her for who she is? Or just the qualities of kindness and bravery she was overflowing with. The "what if's" and uncertainties made his head spin. Love was unstable and complicated, but freedom, freedom was clear cut and definitively positive. _

_Haku narrowed his eyes, but slowly nodded his acceptance. _

Yet…if freedom was so clearly the most logical option, why was he here, on a tree branch next to Chihiro's room, watching and waiting, unwilling to face reality.

**...**

"To do the short cut method of integration by parts, make sure that you have a polynomial that will derive to zero, otherwise…" The teacher droned on in a slightly aggravated monotone as he scribbled on the blackboard with screeching chalk.

Chihiro folded her arms in front of her and rested her cheek on her hand, like a makeshift pillow. At the moment she really didn't care. In the long run none of the information would stick anyways. Everything educational from her 14 year old brain had long gushed out of her current 16 year old brain.

She tilted her eyes upwards and stared out through the rain-stained window. Grey storm clouds had rapidly rolled into this morning's cheery sunny sky, blanketing the little town in a flash thunderstorm. The rhythmic drumming of raindrops and dull drawling voice of her teacher made Chihiro's eyelids droop lower.

So…boring…she cracked an eyelid open after a long blink, and watched as the water droplets slid down the window. Two tiny beads of water glided down, criss-crossing through several other drops until meeting up with each other and merging into a larger body, then slipping from view.

For some inexplicable reason Chihiro felt envy course through her heart. How can two things avoid every obstacle and still find each other? It was strange; Chihiro couldn't remember any notable "love" interactions. And for the most part, she was a cheerful, optimistic young girl. But sometimes she sensed a raw emptiness in her heart, as if it used to be filled with warmth, but now held a bitter void where happiness had been ripped out.

Didn't make sense…

She let herself submit to a brief nap, the sound of pelting rain still thudding in the background.

_A white dragon barreled through the bamboo door and dived head-first into the tatami mat. Scarlet blood dribbled from the sides of its mouth, staining the green floor in blobs of shining liquid. It heaved in pain, thrashing wildly before shuttering its eyes tightly. _

_She bolted inside and rushed to the dragon's side. Running her hand against the hard scales, she soothingly muttered soft words of comfort. The blood dripping onto her fingers and soiling her clothes unfazed her. _

_A white dart suddenly zipped through the broken bamboo door and stabbed the dragon's tail. It howled in a deafening screech, then began writhing on the floor. Jumping to her feet, she dashed towards the opening and slammed the other side shut, blocking the other white darts as they splattered on the rice paper. _

_As she turned around, the dragon had vanished into thin air. In replacement was a small boy, rail-thin and ghastly still. His hair was tousled and streaked with dried blood, and he was shockingly pale, pale like death. _

_She gently shook his shoulders, shouting something but no sound came out of her mouth. He didn't respond, his head lolling back slightly as his lips parted. He seemed to be saying something as well, but similarly, no words left his lips._

_She screamed his name, her vision blurring as tears crept into the corner of her eyes. Not even a hoarse whisper escaped her lips, only the sound of crackling paper darts barraging the door whirled around her. _

Chihiro wasn't quite sure how long she had been unconscious, but was rudely awaken by firm pokes to her cheek and a blaring jolly voice.

"Chihiro-chaaaan! Wake up! Miyazaki-sensei was shooting you pretty dirty looks…"

She blinked her eyes open, reluctantly hauling both her arms up to wipe them blearily. What a nightmare. The reality of integrals and calculus suddenly seemed very appealing. "Oops…How long was I asleep for Hikari-chan?"

Hikari giggled and dropped down into the seat beside Chihiro. "A good 30 minutes, it's lunch time now silly."

Chihiro grinned sheepishly at her friend, who had just finished pulling her navy blue hair back into a messy bun and was prying open her bento box. Arching her back for a quick stretch, she leaned to the side of her desk and rummaged through her backpack for her own lunch.

"Say Chihiro-chan, do you know that guy?" Hikari curiously asked between mouthfuls of rice.

Chihiro whipped her head around to meet Hikari's puzzled aquamarine eyes. "What guy?"

"That guy." Her friend pointed a finger towards the window, still streaked with rivulets of water.

Chihiro stood up from her chair and walked towards the window. She wiped off the condescension and pressed her forehead against the icy glass. In the relentless and frigid rain, sharp and howling wind, was a young boy with perfectly trimmed, shoulder length dark hair. He was sitting under a tree, seemingly oblivious to the drenched white shirt that clung to his skin or the occasional thin lightning that cracked through the sky.

"Wow…he really shouldn't be outside in that weather," Chihiro twisted her lip into a frown before admitting; "I've never seen him before."

"Really?" Hikari scratched her chin thoughtfully. "He was staring at you the whole time you were sleeping…it was kinda weird."

No tingles shivered up and down her spine; oddly instead, she was washed with a wave of relief. "Maybe we should let him inside, well at least open the door."

Hikari raised her eyebrows. "Chihiro are you crazy! He's a stranger. You can't trust people that easily!"

But her words flew through Chihiro's left ear and soared out the right. The girl had already reached the door and swiveled around to exclaim a brisk goodbye.

Hikari rolled her eyes. "Geez that silly girl's so nice to everyone, next thing you know she'll let a huge man-eating monster in somewhere…"

Chihiro scurried through the hallway and burst open the front door, panting heavily as plump raindrops soaked her hair. She stepped to the side and leaned her body against the steel railing. Squinting her eyes, she scanned the forest line for signs of the dark-haired boy.

She had never met him. She was absolutely sure of it. But her heart pulled her towards him at the same time her brain told her to halt in her tracks. The image of the white dragon's piercing gaze flashed through her mind.

Who is that? _Why_ is it that? Aren't 16 year olds supposed to dream about normal 16 year old things? Why did she continuously dream about contorted witches, spider-like men, but most often, a sullen boy and mystical dragon?

Chihiro wrung the water out of her sopping ponytail and brushed the bangs plastered on her forehead to the side. She would wait for him. But if waiting wasn't enough, she would chase him.

**...**

_Falling, so rapidly the feeling had become a comforting numbness that wrapped around his fragile body. The dark abyss welcomed him with their ominous whispers, prickling his unsuspecting ear. An eternal sleep was crawling into his heavy eyelids as it became too strenuous to lift the smallest muscle. But a desperate voice throbbed softly, awakening what shred of life he had left. _

He jolted upright gasping for breath. His hands clenched tightly around a fistful of grass, his fingernails scraping into the cool earth.

Haku stared at the apartment complex in front of him, grey-ruddy blocks that towered over the hill he was sitting on. Yet, they would never touch the clouds either.

He couldn't stay here for long. With the Kohaku River no longer thriving, he was a lost spirit wandering the human world. If he didn't return to the Spirit world, he may one day fall asleep and never wake up, for his body would have vanished.

Just what was he doing? Underneath the memories and dreams, ultimately, Chihiro didn't remember him. And she never would. Not remotely close to the way he remembered her. She would never think of him the same way. Pursuing empty dreams only made reality harder to face.

What was he doing with his freedom? To himself? Attachment had made him vulnerable, a weakness that punctured through his stern exterior and headstrong actions. He needed to move on. Return to the spirit world and restart his life. Why…why was it so difficult?

He burrowed his head into his knees, then ran his hands slowly down the back of his skull, grimacing a little as he felt the dirt clumped under his nails tumble into his hair.

"Hey mister are you okay?"

Haku lifted his head up, eyes widening at the girl before him. She was squatting a few feet away from him and staring at him with large brown doe eyes.

"I think I saw you outside in that storm, you really should have come inside!"

There are some things time can never change. Chihiro may have gotten slightly taller and not quite as scrawny, her hair may have grown to her waist and cascaded over her shoulders, but she was still bold and unafraid. Brash enough to follow him and innocently inquire about his safety.

Chihiro picked at the violet hair band dangling on her wrist. "Oh…the silent type I guess."

She flopped down on the grassy hill, stretching her legs in front of her. "The weather's always so beautiful after it rains." She absentmindedly commented, running her fingers through the blades of grass still slick from the thunderstorm.

Tilting her head to look at the mysterious boy, she spoke again. "My name's Chihiro. What's yours?"

The boy continued to stay quiet and stared straight ahead.

"Ahh…okay, maybe I should go now…glad to see you're alr-"

"Kohaku." He cut her off abruptly.

"O-Oh, that's a cool name. I think this river used to be named Kohaku before it got filled with apartments…Nice to meet you!" She beamed brightly at him, extending her hand for a polite handshake.

Haku finally turned his head to eye her outstretched hand carefully. When it appeared that Haku had no intention of grasping her hand, Chihiro squirmed uneasily and hesitantly pulled it back.

"Chihiro," The said girl twisted her head forward at the sound of her name. "What do you think love is?" He asked softly, with a bit of sadness laced in his smooth voice.

"Huh?" She was taken aback by the suddenness of his question, but tapped a finger to her lips in thought. "What do you mean?"

"How do you know you love someone? Is it being able to tick off the individual reasons? Is it because they make you feel happy? Or is it just…everything. You love them because of their everything…" He trailed off, muttering incoherently under his breath.

Chihiro leaned further back, the palms of her hands scooting backwards. "Hmm…honestly I don't have any experience with love." She laughed awkwardly while her cheeks tinged a rosy pink. "But…I think you know you love someone, either the kind of love towards a friend, family member, or a lover, when they are no longer in your life and you want them back."

She looked up to see Haku staring at her intently, causing her face to further flush a crimson red. When it seemed apparent Haku had no words to comment, Chihiro continued. "It's also more then just simply wanting them back, but a stronger desire to actually take action and pull them back to you."

With a small smile on her lips, she shot Haku a gentle look. "Of course there's all that trouble with unrequited love and sticky situations, so I guess everyone's version of love is different. Why do you ask? Are you in love Kohaku-san?"

"I believe so." They locked eyes, her warm pools of amber with his glossy dark emerald irises. For a few moments they did nothing but gaze at each other. Simultaneously, they broke the contact and shifted their eyes forward. The blazing sun was beginning to dip under the horizon, leaving a trail of vibrant fuchsia pinks and cozy oranges to mesh together in the sky.

When dreams and realities collide, there is a quick burst of excitement that rushes through the air, but eventually everything will re-settle into separate equilibrium. When dreams and realities embrace, that is nothing particularly rare, it is merely happiness.

**...**

"I see your true colors shining through, I see your true colors, and that's why I love you."

~True Colors: Cyndi Lauper


End file.
